Currently Under the Iron Sea By Keane see related

This article is kind of funny (though also very sad). Here's my favorite line (and not just because "absconded" is used):

Her extreme methods have earned her attention before: The police were called to a Y.M.C.A. in 2007 when she absconded with the sprinkles and syrups on a table where members were being served ice cream.

I'm glad no one like this complains at work--especially during the birthday-heavy months of June and October...